OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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