Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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