apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize