I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
