On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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