he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
