Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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