just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish i was in the wii world.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
