If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
this hospital has no fireball
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
