I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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