I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
