we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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