D3 body, D1 cock
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
