I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
