so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
