Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
