me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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