I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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