I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
