im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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