i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize