if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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