So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
