I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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