No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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