we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
