Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
40s are totally the cure
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
