"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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