so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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