Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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