you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize