I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need help removing her.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
