also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
