I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
