Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
