If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She even gives head with a lisp.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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