Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
