Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
