Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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