it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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