I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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