But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
