I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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