They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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