Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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