alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
