she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
