Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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