Will you blow on my dice?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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