I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
