return my video game
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
