No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
