The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
