I'm jealous of your bromance
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Come on in and take your pants off
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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