At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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