Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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