he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
