just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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