They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
