we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
