Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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